Quotes from my Irish grammar teacher
"Which of these sentences have left you severely traumatized?"
"I’m gonna break my neck due to the excitement."
"So the difference between a lounge and a bar is that… you can sit in a lounge? So in a bar you lie on the floor, yea? Well eventually, maybe."
"Many people have many opinions about summaries. You may as well have them yourselves but unfortunately for you, only my opinion matters."
"Abbreviate mister. Is Mr with or without a dot? We’ve talked about it 274 times now. Surprise me."
"Go forth and multiply."
"We’re not gonna stop until you’re all mentally exhausted."
"What does the House of Lords do anyway? Except for being the best drinking club in Britain?"
"Education cannot be saved."
"Ah well just smack a stick up their necks and they’ll learn their arithmetics. You watch."
"We’re going through this book at a phenomenal rate. I’m a bit worried."
"Oh don’t worry, we’re not gonna write summaries at 9 in the morning. Not gonna do that shit now."
"I don’t care if the articles you read were boring. To me they’re ALL boring but we’re here to speak English and speaking English is fun so tell us all about your article, man."
"You should ask yourself this: would the book be right or would my teacher be right? I’ll leave the choice with you."
"You remind me of my wife; she doesn’t believe a thing I say either."
"Don’t tell anyone, they’ll send me on a course to learn how to use the smartboard."
"So, I can now safely assume that all of you know your grammar. That when you go out there and teach, you can answer any and all questions. Marvellous. You’d be the first generation. Maybe I should go inform the director."
"Do you engage in binge drinking? No? Well you should. Great fun."
"He what? He helped populate the country? So he went on a mad sex spree?"
"There are some English accents you should avoid and some you should strive for… I won’t name any of them but I think you know what I mean."
"Know your stuff, know who you’re stuffing and stuff them well."
"This is a beautifully written piece about internationalisation, it’s incredibly good, and that’s because I wrote it."